The Day After Dale Died

Dale and I were married a little over 12 years. We had our ups and downs, but we really, truly, loved each other. So when it came to the day after he died, I did too. It was so unreal. A nightmare. I was walking around without a clue as to what to do. His death was out of the blue. A freakish accident in the bedroom. Now what do I do?

First Night

The first night, a neighbor came over with a bottle of wine. We often sat in the enclosed patio with some wine. I appreciated her company, but declined the wine. Another good friend of mine became an alcoholic after her husband died. I wasn’t sure, but I just didn’t want to go that route. Alcohol wouldn’t bring Dale back, or make the pain go away. It would only make matters worse.

The Day After

The next day, my good friend Iris and my oldest daughter Kay came running to the rescue. They helped me through the funeral home stuff. There the funeral home director had so many questions for me to answer. I hadn’t a clue if he wanted to be buried or cremated. All I knew was he wanted to rest in peace at Riverside National Cemetery in Riverside, CA. But, all in all, I was angry, heartbroken, and defeated.

The Whole Week

That whole week after Dale died was so difficult. My daughter from Arizona, along with her family, moved back into our house. The office needing clearing to turn it into my daughter and her husband’s room. My guest room had become my reading room, so that went too. Of course, I needed to make room for the grandkids.

Plus, I had to clear out the closets. I had no choice. It gave me something to do, allowed me to purge junk I was hanging onto, plus, his clothes and hobby supplies were given away – instead of hanging onto them reminding me that he was gone. There were a number of things I hung onto. I kept his cowboy hats, cowboy boots, and all his big belt buckles. He loved being in the army, so I kept paraphernalia from is time in the military.

What Did You Do?

What you do the day after your loved one dies is absolutely up to you. What you do during the weeks and months ahead is also up to you. You be you! Don’t allow anyone to tell you what you should do next.

I invite you to share your experiences of the day after in the comment box below.

Hugs, Eydie