Mourning the Loss of a Spouse

Mourning the loss of a spouse can turn your world upside-down and inside-out. But, it also offers us a chance to redefine your purpose and direction to life.

Grieving spouses may find it advantageous to follow some, or all, of the tools listed below to help them find significant healing:

• Talk about the death of your loved one with family and friends. Holding back your feelings can lead to feeling so alone and depressed. The healing growth is stunted without your support systems.
• Accept your feelings. During mourning you may witness an immense string of emotions from sadness, anxious, anger, confusion, guilt, or even a considerable amount of fatigue. These feelings are normal. It’s important to take note when you are feeling this way. When you feel stuck or overpowered by these emotions, find a Grief Coach (like me), or a Therapist to hear your story, and who can guide you through your feelings and find ways to get your life in order. Actually, while sharing your story with a Coach or Therapist, you will come across the things you need to do on your own.
• Take care of yourself. You’ve heard this before. Your emotional and physical self needs you to eat healthy foods, exercise and especially get plenty of sleep. Sleep can evade you, If it does, start an evening routine. Read a book before going to bed or write in your journal. You have to keep your body strong because after awhile the toll it takes could make you ill. Check in with your family and friends so that they know you are taking care of yourself.
• Reach out and help others who are grieving. When you are there for others you are helping yourself as well. Even if it’s just a cup of coffee, you can chat either small talk or find out what is concerning them. Allow them to share their grief story or memories of the loved one they lost. Sometimes all they need is a hug. It could make an enormous shift in their day. these small efforts can make a big difference to some. 
• Remember the life of the you lost. You would think that mourning the loss of a spouse should be somber and gloomy, but let’s celebrate their life. Those special occasions such as birthdays, anniversaries, and the holidays can make feelings come to the surface. On the other hand, honoring him/her, celebrating your life together can have you feeling uplifted and calm. but it can also be a time for remembrance and honoring them. Make a memory scrapbook with his/her photos, and tell a short story about that photo. I especially like the idea of the Mexican tribute, Dia de los Muertos – The Day of the Dead. You don’t need to be Mexican to honor your loved with this colorful tradition. Start with making an Ofrenda. Stage the ofrenda with their photo, memories, bottles of alcohol, and flowers because they attract the souls of the dead to the offerings and the bright petals ofer a strong aroma which guide the souls from the cemetery to the homes of their families.

I hope you get the relief you need from some of these suggestions. They certainly helped my clients…and me.

I invite you to share the things that you used to get you on your way health and happiness. Please share in the comment box below.

Hugs, Eydie